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| Hot or Not? |
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Tuesday, 30 April 2013
I’m Ready To Marry But I Keep Getting Deceived By Girls...What Should I Do?
I’m a mature man, old enough to get married and I have been trying to get a wife but my girlfriends have not been honest.
After dating a girl for a long time, I found out that she was married and separated from her husband and she wasn’t planning to tell me.
I am dating a girl now and I haven’t seen her for about a year, she’s always giving me excuses that she can not come to see me because she is far from me and even when I travel to see her, she still won’t come but she insists that she loves me and that I should go visit her family and do the necessary things.
I am ready to marry but how will I marry someone I don’t spend time with? Please help me and tell me what to do.
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SEE how dirty this gospel singer went on stage
So many of us believe these are signs of the end, but take a look at this, would you say Christians are just upgrading because the world is upgrading? Would such a lady claim she is winning souls for God getting dirty like this on stage? See the old news below...
Kenyan Gospel Artist size 8 who apparently got saved a few days ago was caught yeaterday night getting dirty with an unknown male at a night club in Nairobi. When we asked her about it she said that she was doing the work of God by preaching to horny men. Other sources(Ghafla and Kenyanpost) state that she later had unprotected sexual intercourse with this male in public. However, Size 8 later denied this allegations and says she was a bit drunk.
Is this whore saved for real or is she trying to cover up her K.Street business?
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Kim K spotted in Paris with baby daddy, Kanye West
Kim K left her family in Greece where they are holidaying to go join her boo in Paris after he sent a private jet to pick her up. They were spotted out and about in Paris today...but they no longer look like a couple in love. No holding hands, no smiling, plus they look tense. And see the way she's looking at him in the last photo. Hmmmm. Hope they find a way to stay together!
via LindaIkeji
TERRY G, BEATS UP AY DOT COM
Although the both parties mentioned do not enjoy the best of relationship for some years now, no one knew it would degenerate in to a rofo rofo fight years after, until they finally engaged each other in a severe boxing match recently that finally earned AY a serious head but from ‘Terry the Ginja’ .
For the purpose of those who may not have understood the whole story, let us revert to the beginning of the matter.
In 2009, AY Dot come launched an attack on Terry G and warned him to stop performing his song, “Pass Me Your Love” in shows. The song which featured Terry and was also produced by him turned out to be a monster hit single later became the subject of a misunderstanding between the two parties over the years.
While Terry on his part claims he has the right of performing the song since it was a duet that featured him, AY Dot Come maintained it was never going to happen while he lives.
Meanwhile, AY on several occasions lamented of how Terry G went about collecting money on his behalf to perform the song without his consent.
Now from the story, you can see it was an age long animosity which finally turned out into a free for all fight, where blows were exchanged; several bottles broken, people injured, trying to separate the fight. Fast forward to what happened at Terry G’s Iju home on his birthday.
An eyewitness said, ‘AY came in the company of some friends as a sign of solidarity to celebrate with the ‘Intellectual Mad Man’ on his birthday and upon sighting him, Terry G Immediately threw caution to the wind and all the madness in him was let lose, as he punched AY severally and landed him an headbutt. AY upon being rescued reached out for the next available weapon but was immediately intercepted by friends and colleagues. At this point the party was already thrown into a halt, while Terry G insisted that Ay disappears from his house before something worse happens. AY was immediately seen to the gate of the compound with bruises all over his body.
Neither Terry G nor AY was available to give their reaction on the story, as their both numbers were switched off as at the time of filing in this report.
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Fast Rising Singer, Faith Jonah Shares New Photos
Faith Jonah is a fast rising singer. Her stage name is BAYELS. Here is what her publicist said about her;
The very sexy, soft spoken and elegant damsel, "BAYELS " is a professional fashionista, she is the perfect description of beauty and class, she speaks with ease and her singing is enchanting. Music for "BAYELS" is like eating. She does it beautifully well without stress. Her list of musical inspiration includes Omawunmi and Tuface idibia. She is about to strike the Nigerian music scene with a huge and resounding bang. Another pic after the cut.
via ladunliadi
Photos: Ini Edo buries mother-in-law
Ini Edo on Saturday April 27th buried her mother-in-law, Mrs Erofoh Ehiagwina, in Irrua in Edo state. Mrs Ehiagwina died February this year. The actress' US based husband returned home to give his late mum a befitting burial...
via LindaIkeji
First Delta Soap Model, Norah Penawou Obtains PHD Degree From Loughborough University
She obtained the degree in Human Geography at Loughborough University, Uk. She is also the wife of Chief Joseph Penawou. Big congrats to her. #Beuaty and brain.
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Jason Collins ex-girlfriend of 8 years had no idea he was gay; speaks..
How can you date a guy for eight years and not know that he's into men? Well, it's very possible. That's exactly what happened to Carolyn Moos, Jason Collins' ex-fiance. Jason made history yesterday by becoming the first active NBA player to come out as gay. Before then he was living as a straight man. He dated Carolyn, a '6''6' female basketball star for eight years and even proposed to her. In 2009, a few months to their wedding, Jason called it off and ended things with her. Carolyn told TMZ today that she never once suspected that Jason was gay while they were dating and only found out this past weekend when he revealed everything to her before coming out to the world and also told her his homosexuality was the real reason he ended things with her in 2009. Carolyn told TMZ:
"It's very emotional for me as a woman to have invested 8 years in my dream to have a husband, soul mate, and best friend in him. So this is all hard to understand."
"I care about Jason tremendously and only want the best for him. I want Jason to be happy for a lifetime and stay true to who he really is, inside and out."
via LindaIkeji
Kim Kardashian Shows Off Growing Bump In Greece (Photos)
The reality TV star flaunted her growing belly in a loose sarong while on vacation in Greece. Baby is due in July.
via lailasblog
BAD GUY: How Ex Gov Akala Snatched His SSG, Layiwola Olakojo's Wife
A big drama is playing out in the Oyo political circle which involves former associates and friends; ex-Governor Adebayo Alao-Akala and the Secretary to The State Government (SSG), during the last administration, Chief Layiwola Olakojo.
Chief Olakojo is regarded as one of the most experienced politicians in the State who enjoys a considerable followership in the state's political set-up and has participated in different governments both as the SSG to ex-Governor Ladoja and later Chief Bayo Alao-Akala.
During the high point of Governor Akala's administration, Chief Olakojo who was in his late 70's did the unusual and married a very young beautiful wife who was in her early 20s. They had a big wedding ceremony which was attended by all the political bigwigs in the State then.
However, the robust relationship being enjoyed by Chief Olakojo and ex-Governor Akala ended when the Governor was being hounded by the EFCC and arrested his SSG, Chief Olakojo. It was revealed that the old man who couldn't endure the hard measure and feared what would become of his political life squealed on some activities of his boss, and that spelt long years of rift between the two politicians.
Recently the former SSG's marriage to his youngest wife was rocked with a big crisis that led to the wife moving all her things out of his house.
Sources revealed that Chief Olakojo now lives alone in his country home in Oyo town. It was revealed that ex-Governor Akala was the mastermind of the break-up in Chief Olakojo's marriage. Those in the know claimed that the ex-Governor has been in close contacts with Oyin during his days as a Governor when the wife used to visit him and report Chief Olakojo's frugality and she gets cash gifts from the Governor.
First Weekly Magazine learnt that Akala pampered Olakojo's wife so much that the beautiful lady couldn't resist the advances the former governor eventually made. The source informed us that Akala and the woman began to have sexual relationship on a regular basis.
It was also revealed that during one of their secret rendezvous, Akala convinced her to move out from her matrimonial home. The source revealed that the young woman who already had a child for Chief Olakojo left her husband's home with the child and Akala relocated her to America where she now lives.
“It was so funny the way Oyin left Chief Olakojo. She had earlier told Chief she wanted to travel to America, but Chief asked her to wait for some days, that he wanted to do some things in India. He promised to take Oyin to America when he comes back from India. Chief traveled to India, but unknown to him Oyin has her own plans,” an insider said.
The source revealed that Oyin, through the help of Akala perfected all her traveling papers, while the husband was in India.
“She went into Chief’s room, took 20,000 dollars out of the 100,000 dollars she saw and the funny aspect was that it was the day Chief Olakojo landed at the airport that Oyin also boarded a United States bound flight. They were probably at the airport at the same time. While the husband was at the arrival lounge, the wife was at the departure,” the source added.,
The recent development was said to have sparked off a new row between the two politicians, as Olakojo has been reporting the matter to all the influential people in the state. Chief Olakojo was said to have threatened to end Chief Akala's political career and his recent activities has pointed to that direction.
The former SSG has been at the forefront of the move to reconcile ex-Governor Ladoja with other PDP chieftains and he has been engaging in different activities that exhibit his agony, and hatred towards his ex boss.
Culled from First Weekly Magazine.
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Police arrest and detain ceremonial cow in murder case in Ogun (PHOTO)
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| The cow detained at a police station over murder |
The police at Sango Ota, Ogun State, southwest Nigeria, have arrested a cow following the killing of a 24-year old teenager identified as Azeez Salako at Ilata area of Ota, a suburb of Ogun State.
P.M.NEWS gathered that youths in Ilata Ota were planning to hold a carnival on Saturday 27 April, 2013 and there was an argument between some of the youths which led to a fight and one of the boys identified as Dayo broke a bottle which he used to stab Salako in the neck and he bled to death.
When the police arrived at the scene of the fracas everyone had fled leaving behind the cow bought for slaughter during the carnival and the police arrested the cow and took it to the station where it is currently being detained. When P.M.NEWS visited Sango Area Command where the incident was reported, both the Area Commander ACP Titi Kayode and the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) in charge of Sango Division CSP Dibie were not available for comment. However, a source at the station who confirmed the incident on condition of anonymity said the suspected killer is on the run as no arrest has been made.
“Both the Area Commander and the DPO are not around now. We are still investigating the matter as no arrest has been made. The person who was alleged to have stabbed the deceased is on the run. It is only the cow the youths wanted to use for the carnival that was brought from the scene,” said the source.
Read more: PM News
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Actor Solomon Akiyesi tells his own side of the story
By now serial husband and actor Solomon Akiyesi needs no introduction...:-). He's finally granted an interview to tell his own side of the story. In his interview with Sunnewsonline.com, he said his first wife, Ezinne was deceitful and greedy, and that if he hadn't left Lilian his second wife, he would have committed suicide. But Uloma, the 3rd woman he attempted to marry, gives him true love and inner joy. See what he said below....
Over the last one week, hell has been let loose on me. I’ve not only suffered verbal attacks, but also vituperations and near fisticuffs, all because of another futile attempt of mine at my journey towards achieving that which I honestly and passionately desire – a peaceful home and family. Social network sites and blogs have been awash with how I left Lilian, my “pregnant” wife, to marry Uloma, my Lagos “mistress” whom they also claimed was pregnant for me. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
Only a mad or cursed man would simply leave his pregnant wife and elope with another one. And lest I forget, I urge you, as you read this, to have an open mind to listen to that which is true instead of taking sides and jumping into wicked conclusions with its attendant wicked insults and uncouth commentaries about how Solomon is running his life and how he is not. I’m not asking for pity or trying to buy anybody’s love at this time.
It gets more interesting. Continue...
This is my life. If at my age I don’t know what I want, then I may just remain the dumb ass that I’ve been called over and over again. I don’t think I need anyone to give me any lecturing on how I should exercise my privileges.
For the record, I never planned on marrying more than one wife. And unlike the serial husband I’ve been labelled, I had dreamt and planned a lovely home and family.
And my quest for this dates back to 2003 after I had moved into Port Harcourt. I soon settled down with Ezinne, my university days girlfriend, whom I ran into in Port Harcourt during her National Youth Service. As fate had it, we couldn’t help reliving old times and one thing led to another. One fateful, rainy Thursday evening in October, 2002, Ezinne came to inform me that she was pregnant.
It was as far as I was concerned, a devastating blow to the new life I was living; rap music, cars, money and women. So, I told her the pregnancy was unacceptable to me. Besides, I only just started working and needed stability. But months later, Ezinne was to inform me that she was carrying a baby girl.
And knowing my attachment to baby girls and not wanting to ever have a baby outside wedlock, I repented and changed my thuggish ways and asked her to marry me, more so that I was mature enough in every ramification. Or so I thought.
And so, sometime in April, 2003, I hired a hall and invited a pastor to come officiate at my marriage with Ezinne and bless our rings. All done, we went home and started as husband and wife. God, the creator, knew how glad I was and looked forward to a happy home. However, five days after that marriage, I called my new wife on my way from work to ask what was up for dinner and she told me she had been in the hospital.
I rushed to the hospital and was told by Ezinne that she lost the baby. I got her discharged and took her home. But I was completely broken at the loss of a baby I had expected so much. Four days later, I asked my wife if she actually saw the dead baby. She responded by saying the doctor brought it but she gave instruction for it to be buried because she could not behold the sight. Instinctively, I called the doctor – both to thank him and to confirm because he wasn’t around when I went to pick her home. After thanking the doctor, I asked of the sex of my dead baby.
The doctor didn’t talk for like six seconds. I asked him the same question again and he said he’s been restless in his spirit and that he could no longer keep the fact that there was no baby inside Ezinne and that nothing like miscarriage happened in his hospital. I challenged him again and asked if he was not the same person, who confirmed her pregnant and that Ezinne had been attending antenatal in his hospital.
He responded that he had not set his eyes on Ezinne since October of the previous year. Meanwhile, Ezinne had always taken money from me for antenatal and had even shopped for the baby! It then became clear to me that this was a fluke all together.
Sadly enough, Ezinne denied any wrongdoing. For three years, I exposed opportunities for Ezinne to simply tell me the truth but she never took advantage of any of the opportunities. Alas! She was not pregnant. I decided to investigate myself and took her for HSG where it was discovered that there were no fallopian tubes in her and that there was evidence of previous surgery of the uterus. I independently probed further and found out with evidence that Ezinne had a life-threatening abortion in 1992 that resulted in the rupture and subsequent removal of her womb and tubes.
My biggest pain was not what I found out but the fact that Ezinne hid all this from me all these years and was still being economical with the truth even when confronted with hard evidence! In frustration, I moved out of the house but not before taking her to her mum in search of the truth.
Even the mum corroborated what Ezinne gave as excuse for the scar that runs from her navel down to her pubic region, i.e. she was operated upon due to menstrual irregularities. I then decided to stay out for good. While I was out, my relationship with Lillian whom I had known years earlier grew.
I was always going to see her in Enugu. I then got me another apartment and Lillian came around quite often too. Gradually Lillian grew from that little girl I was merely helping in her schooling, into a mature, witty and intelligent young woman. So, having taken my people to Ezinne’s place for the dissolution of the marriage – since we did only traditional marriage – I proposed to Lillian.
And, in 2007, we proceeded to the registry for marriage. And that was the day her father started troubling me. He insisted Lillian was not supposed to go home with me. For two years, he cut communication with me. Shortly after the marriage, my businesses ran into a crises and my entire life nose-dived.
There was tremendous loss in my finances. In my travail, Lillian’s father went to the police and told them to deal seriously with me because I was an “irresponsible son-in-law”. When the challenges kept mounting and seeing my life was at risk after I was badly shot, I left town to sojourn elsewhere. In 2010, I gradually re-emerged and we started finding our footing again.
Even though I tried to settle down again, I found that the centre could no longer hold, as Lillian had metamorphosed into a nag and had acquired a fire tongue with which she talked me down and reigned curses on me at any little provocation. There was no week we didn’t have a major fight, whether I was home or not.
At some point, she became religious. And having found her way into Winners Chapel, she suggested to me one day that it was necessary we took our marriage to God since we hadn’t a proper wedding. She said her church pastors were willing to help in blessing our marriage so there could be a turnaround. To this, I obliged. She said she would love for us to wear wedding costumes for the purpose of photographs. To this I also consented. And so, to Winners Chapel we went and were blessed and certificated.
But it was as if that blessing was what someone was waiting for before they would blow the whistle that would usher me into the hall of pain. Lillian became insatiable.
You would see tiny ingredients of marriage only when I could ensure her comfort. Once Lillian’s comfort was compromised, she would lampoon me and tell me my life history in graphic details and lecture me on what Mr. A and B have done for their wives that I’m not able to do.
It’s even worse when I try to remind her of the recent past that I laboured tenaciously to keep her happy. Once she told me that there was nothing I had done in the past that anybody couldn’t have done. Imagine sacrificing all you’ve got, including almost your life, for someone who would tell you it’s no big deal and that any other person could have done what you did. And then, suddenly, she wanted me to quit my acting career or she would divorce me. My phones were always her best companions at night. If she was not reading my texts, she was in my facebook or BBM.
I had no peace. My best moment was whenever I had to leave home for work. And after work I never wanted to go back home. On a trip back home sometime ago, I was praying that my aircraft should crash and I die instead of going home. Even when I was driving home, I was under strong temptation to ram into oncoming vehicles instead of going home.
It was either that a long list of demand would be waiting for me or an equally longer list of questions about whom I had been online with and whom I had been calling and not calling.
Then on the side was a supposed father-in-law, who claimed he regretted the marriage because he wasn’t getting anything from it and that I only came to destroy the love that existed in their family before the marriage. So, my joy knew no bounds when Lillian told me last year that she was pregnant. For me, it was a good thing. Maybe the baby would take her attention away from me at last. Then the heat started again. I must provide N2 million for her to deliver her baby, even though she knows my income and its source. When her pressure got to a head and to avoid the same road I travelled with Ezinne, I took Lillian to a gynaecologist. A scan was run on her and the result was declared before the two of us that she was not pregnant.
This was after she told me that she had done an independent scan and that she was carrying triplets! Even with the medical confirmation, Lillian never stopped her push for N2 million and money for baby shopping. I ended up suffering a partial stroke in January. Yet she would wake me up at 2am to ask me of my plans to raise N2 million for her, even while I was bedridden with stroke.
I knew then that I was going to die in that marriage and had to do something about it. Ladies and gentlemen, this is about my life. If what greeted the Internet and press was that I died, trying to please Lillian and my marriage, people would still insult me and ask why I didn’t take a walk. And taking a walk I tried to do but I did not do it right.
I tried to skip due process to avoid hurting anyone. More so, I did not have the political and emotional will to ask for divorce. Pray, people, divorce is not like going to a grocery store where you go to pay your money and come back with a bag full. What would have been my ground for divorce? I should also confess that I could not find an answer to what would happen to Lillian if I asked her to go because I was more than a husband to her.
So, I foot-dragged to the point of taking the easy way out. And the easy way is not usually the best way as I found out on Saturday, April 13.
Uloma did not just jump into the picture to “snatch” Solomon from Lillian. Uloma has been my friend since 2006. We met again in 2009 at the peak of my business crisis and have been seeing each other afterwards. Candidly, I was swept away by the love, understanding and the peaceful disposition Uloma proffered even as a friend, far from the opposites I was getting back home. The way Uloma treated me was the exact desires any man longed for in a wife. So, I was always running to her whenever Lillian lit her fires.
So, I asked myself why I couldn’t marry her. Far from the evil rumour that I wanted to marry Uloma because of her money, I wanted to marry Uloma to fill a vacuum in her life and make her happy and fulfilled because this woman with a heart of gold who has impacted many lives deserved to be happy.
If that was what I could ever do to plant some comfort in her life. If there was going to be any immediate gain for me, it would have been peace of mind and its attendant long life, not her money or any physical or material gains. I’m not a lazy man.
Apart from being an actor, I have been in business for almost fifteen years. Years back, when I poured millions of naira on exotic cars and a posh house in Port Harcourt, Uloma was a seventy thousand naira recovery staff in Sterling Bank. Today, even if Uloma gave me all her salary from where she presently works, it won’t be enough to put Internet credit in my tablets and phones. Someone even posted that I said I would have ‘hammered’ if I had married Uloma.
What could I possibly gain? Uloma wasn’t frustrated to the point of desperation to pay a man to marry her. There was no award for anyone who married her. She does not own an estate or anything willed to her by anyone that I was running after. Uloma is not the daughter of any rich man or top politician. She’s as much a hustler as I am.
Ok, yes, sincerely, maybe I actually would have ‘hammered’ long life, happiness, inner joy, a sense of being loved and long life. I also would have ‘hammered’ having her sisters as my sisters because they love me like their own brother – a far cry from what my own people give me.
If I had married Uloma, I know I would have had a good burial whenever I died because I’ve always been scared that at my level of loneliness, whenever I die, my corpse would probably have decomposed before my people would find me. I beg to be loved and appreciated. Nobody to call my own.
No one ever cared about me. I have always been alone and hardworking too. From way back, my joys, my sorrows I have always swallowed alone. But Uloma was the only person who truly listened to my heart and understood where I was coming from. So to say any of my failed marriages was for money is simply stupid and unreasonable. The first car Ezinne ever drove and financing for her first attempt at business all came from me.
Lillian was not born with a silver spoon. Her father is only a retired naval officer and the last time I checked he had no wealth ascribed to his name. On her 18th birthday, I bought Lillian an exotic Corolla car. At 300 level in school, I gave her a Mercedes Benz.
Then she graduated with an LS400 Lexus. This is apart from a lush apartment and school bills that God used me to help her take care of. So, who amongst these would I have married for money? Uloma stood out because she’s shared my pain even when it was because of me and that explains why it was a difficult task telling her Lillian was still in my tracks.
I couldn’t have deliberately gone out of my way to hurt Uloma, because that will be simply committing suicide. Hurting Uloma is like waging war against a nation. Is it her legion of admirers I will have to contend with or her nation of die-hard lovers who will be tumbling over each other to get a pound of flesh?
I wouldn’t give hurt for the love and hope Uloma and her family gave me. Unfortunately the same scandals I thought I was preventing by not doing what everyone is saying I would have done is now the same thing staring me in the face, and everyone is worse hurt.
And above all, my own life is now seriously at risk because I feared hurting anyone. I ask all concerned to please sheathe their swords of anger and find it in their hearts to forgive me. I will make restitution as much as the mercy of God permits me. It’s never too late to begin again as far as God keeps us all alive.
I’m a man on a mission for a peaceful marriage, a good home and family life. I guess my desperation took good reasoning off me. Again, I am humbly and truly sorry. I thank my friends who have stood by me through this trial. Your comforting words are like lights on my dark path.
And for the judgmental few, I urge you; work with the truth while the Almighty fixes that which went wrong in my life.
via LindaIkeji
SEE Toke Makinwa's Sexy Way Of Rocking Ankara
Here's another way to rock the Ankara fabric. Brought to you by stylish media personality, Toke Makinwa.
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SEE Mr Ibu's Outfit at An Event
Mr Ibu doesn't seem to seize being hilarious cum crazy. Hit or Miss?
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DISGRACED WEDDING: Nollywood actor, Solomon Akiyesi tells own story
•I loved Ezinne, my first wife, but she was deceitful, greedy
• If I hadn’t left Lillian, my second wife, I would have committed suicide
• Uloma gives me true love, inner joy
On Saturday, April 13, Nigerians were shocked when the supposed wedding of Nollywood actor, Mr. Solomon Akiyesi, to Ms Uloma Agwu, turned into a major scandal in Lagos.
The ‘wedding’, which was taking place at the Overcomer’s World Outreach in Aguda, Surulere, was truncated when Solomon’s authentic wife, Lillian, stormed the church with some family members, creating a scene and accusing the groom-to-be of abandoning her at home in Port Harcourt while he was busy, plotting an illegal wedding in Lagos.
It took the intervention of policemen to restore sanity. The wedding was eventually cancelled by the General Overseer of the Overcomers Church World Outreach, Bishop N.E. Moses.
Since then, many Nigerians have taken to the social media, raining unprintable invectives on the Nollywood actor, who was said to have been married twice before his latest failed attempt. In a chat with Daily Sun, Solomon tells his own story, explaining why he decided to take the actions that he took, concerning his marital life. Excerpts: Over the last one week, hell has been let loose on me.
I’ve not only suffered verbal attacks, but also vituperations and near fisticuffs, all because of another futile attempt of mine at my journey towards achieving that which I honestly and passionately desire – a peaceful home and family. Social network sites and blogs have been awash with how I left Lilian, my “pregnant” wife, to marry Uloma, my Lagos “mistress” whom they also claimed was pregnant for me. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
Only a mad or cursed man would simply leave his pregnant wife and elope with another one. And lest I forget, I urge you, as you read this, to have an open mind to listen to that which is true instead of taking sides and jumping into wicked conclusions with its attendant wicked insults and uncouth commentaries about how Solomon is running his life and how he is not. I’m not asking for pity or trying to buy anybody’s love at this time.
This is my life. If at my age I don’t know what I want, then I may just remain the dumb ass that I’ve been called over and over again. I don’t think I need anyone to give me any lecturing on how I should exercise my privileges.
For the record, I never planned on marrying more than one wife. And unlike the serial husband I’ve been labelled, I had dreamt and planned a lovely home and family.
And my quest for this dates back to 2003 after I had moved into Port Harcourt. I soon settled down with Ezinne, my university days girlfriend, whom I ran into in Port Harcourt during her National Youth Service. As fate had it, we couldn’t help reliving old times and one thing led to another. One fateful, rainy Thursday evening in October, 2002, Ezinne came to inform me that she was pregnant.
It was as far as I was concerned, a devastating blow to the new life I was living; rap music, cars, money and women. So, I told her the pregnancy was unacceptable to me. Besides, I only just started working and needed stability. But months later, Ezinne was to inform me that she was carrying a baby girl.
And knowing my attachment to baby girls and not wanting to ever have a baby outside wedlock, I repented and changed my thuggish ways and asked her to marry me, more so that I was mature enough in every ramification. Or so I thought.
And so, sometime in April, 2003, I hired a hall and invited a pastor to come officiate at my marriage with Ezinne and bless our rings. All done, we went home and started as husband and wife. God, the creator, knew how glad I was and looked forward to a happy home. However, five days after that marriage, I called my new wife on my way from work to ask what was up for dinner and she told me she had been in the hospital.
I rushed to the hospital and was told by Ezinne that she lost the baby. I got her discharged and took her home. But I was completely broken at the loss of a baby I had expected so much. Four days later, I asked my wife if she actually saw the dead baby. She responded by saying the doctor brought it but she gave instruction for it to be buried because she could not behold the sight. Instinctively, I called the doctor – both to thank him and to confirm because he wasn’t around when I went to pick her home. After thanking the doctor, I asked of the sex of my dead baby.
The doctor didn’t talk for like six seconds. I asked him the same question again and he said he’s been restless in his spirit and that he could no longer keep the fact that there was no baby inside Ezinne and that nothing like miscarriage happened in his hospital. I challenged him again and asked if he was not the same person, who confirmed her pregnant and that Ezinne had been attending antenatal in his hospital.
He responded that he had not set his eyes on Ezinne since October of the previous year. Meanwhile, Ezinne had always taken money from me for antenatal and had even shopped for the baby! It then became clear to me that this was a fluke all together.
Sadly enough, Ezinne denied any wrongdoing. For three years, I exposed opportunities for Ezinne to simply tell me the truth but she never took advantage of any of the opportunities. Alas! She was not pregnant. I decided to investigate myself and took her for HSG where it was discovered that there were no fallopian tubes in her and that there was evidence of previous surgery of the uterus. I independently probed further and found out with evidence that Ezinne had a life-threatening abortion in 1992 that resulted in the rupture and subsequent removal of her womb and tubes.
My biggest pain was not what I found out but the fact that Ezinne hid all this from me all these years and was still being economical with the truth even when confronted with hard evidence! In frustration, I moved out of the house but not before taking her to her mum in search of the truth.
Even the mum corroborated what Ezinne gave as excuse for the scar that runs from her navel down to her pubic region, i.e. she was operated upon due to menstrual irregularities. I then decided to stay out for good. While I was out, my relationship with Lillian whom I had known years earlier grew.
I was always going to see her in Enugu. I then got me another apartment and Lillian came around quite often too. Gradually Lillian grew from that little girl I was merely helping in her schooling, into a mature, witty and intelligent young woman. So, having taken my people to Ezinne’s place for the dissolution of the marriage – since we did only traditional marriage – I proposed to Lillian.
And, in 2007, we proceeded to the registry for marriage. And that was the day her father started troubling me. He insisted Lillian was not supposed to go home with me. For two years, he cut communication with me. Shortly after the marriage, my businesses ran into a crises and my entire life nose-dived.
There was tremendous loss in my finances. In my travail, Lillian’s father went to the police and told them to deal seriously with me because I was an “irresponsible son-in-law”. When the challenges kept mounting and seeing my life was at risk after I was badly shot, I left town to sojourn elsewhere. In 2010, I gradually re-emerged and we started finding our footing again.
Even though I tried to settle down again, I found that the centre could no longer hold, as Lillian had metamorphosed into a nag and had acquired a fire tongue with which she talked me down and reigned curses on me at any little provocation. There was no week we didn’t have a major fight, whether I was home or not.
At some point, she became religious. And having found her way into Winners Chapel, she suggested to me one day that it was necessary we took our marriage to God since we hadn’t a proper wedding. She said her church pastors were willing to help in blessing our marriage so there could be a turnaround. To this, I obliged. She said she would love for us to wear wedding costumes for the purpose of photographs. To this I also consented. And so, to Winners Chapel we went and were blessed and certificated.
But it was as if that blessing was what someone was waiting for before they would blow the whistle that would usher me into the hall of pain. Lillian became insatiable.
You would see tiny ingredients of marriage only when I could ensure her comfort. Once Lillian’s comfort was compromised, she would lampoon me and tell me my life history in graphic details and lecture me on what Mr. A and B have done for their wives that I’m not able to do.
It’s even worse when I try to remind her of the recent past that I laboured tenaciously to keep her happy. Once she told me that there was nothing I had done in the past that anybody couldn’t have done. Imagine sacrificing all you’ve got, including almost your life, for someone who would tell you it’s no big deal and that any other person could have done what you did. And then, suddenly, she wanted me to quit my acting career or she would divorce me. My phones were always her best companions at night. If she was not reading my texts, she was in my facebook or BBM.
I had no peace. My best moment was whenever I had to leave home for work. And after work I never wanted to go back home. On a trip back home sometime ago, I was praying that my aircraft should crash and I die instead of going home. Even when I was driving home, I was under strong temptation to ram into oncoming vehicles instead of going home.
It was either that a long list of demand would be waiting for me or an equally longer list of questions about whom I had been online with and whom I had been calling and not calling.
Then on the side was a supposed father-in-law, who claimed he regretted the marriage because he wasn’t getting anything from it and that I only came to destroy the love that existed in their family before the marriage. So, my joy knew no bounds when Lillian told me last year that she was pregnant. For me, it was a good thing. Maybe the baby would take her attention away from me at last. Then the heat started again. I must provide N2 million for her to deliver her baby, even though she knows my income and its source. When her pressure got to a head and to avoid the same road I travelled with Ezinne, I took Lillian to a gynaecologist. A scan was run on her and the result was declared before the two of us that she was not pregnant.
This was after she told me that she had done an independent scan and that she was carrying triplets! Even with the medical confirmation, Lillian never stopped her push for N2 million and money for baby shopping. I ended up suffering a partial stroke in January. Yet she would wake me up at 2am to ask me of my plans to raise N2 million for her, even while I was bedridden with stroke.
I knew then that I was going to die in that marriage and had to do something about it. Ladies and gentlemen, this is about my life. If what greeted the Internet and press was that I died, trying to please Lillian and my marriage, people would still insult me and ask why I didn’t take a walk. And taking a walk I tried to do but I did not do it right.
I tried to skip due process to avoid hurting anyone. More so, I did not have the political and emotional will to ask for divorce. Pray, people, divorce is not like going to a grocery store where you go to pay your money and come back with a bag full. What would have been my ground for divorce? I should also confess that I could not find an answer to what would happen to Lillian if I asked her to go because I was more than a husband to her.
So, I foot-dragged to the point of taking the easy way out. And the easy way is not usually the best way as I found out on Saturday, April 13.
Uloma did not just jump into the picture to “snatch” Solomon from Lillian. Uloma has been my friend since 2006. We met again in 2009 at the peak of my business crisis and have been seeing each other afterwards. Candidly, I was swept away by the love, understanding and the peaceful disposition Uloma proffered even as a friend, far from the opposites I was getting back home. The way Uloma treated me was the exact desires any man longed for in a wife. So, I was always running to her whenever Lillian lit her fires.
So, I asked myself why I couldn’t marry her. Far from the evil rumour that I wanted to marry Uloma because of her money, I wanted to marry Uloma to fill a vacuum in her life and make her happy and fulfilled because this woman with a heart of gold who has impacted many lives deserved to be happy.
If that was what I could ever do to plant some comfort in her life. If there was going to be any immediate gain for me, it would have been peace of mind and its attendant long life, not her money or any physical or material gains. I’m not a lazy man.
Apart from being an actor, I have been in business for almost fifteen years. Years back, when I poured millions of naira on exotic cars and a posh house in Port Harcourt, Uloma was a seventy thousand naira recovery staff in Sterling Bank. Today, even if Uloma gave me all her salary from where she presently works, it won’t be enough to put Internet credit in my tablets and phones. Someone even posted that I said I would have ‘hammered’ if I had married Uloma.
What could I possibly gain? Uloma wasn’t frustrated to the point of desperation to pay a man to marry her. There was no award for anyone who married her. She does not own an estate or anything willed to her by anyone that I was running after. Uloma is not the daughter of any rich man or top politician. She’s as much a hustler as I am.
Ok, yes, sincerely, maybe I actually would have ‘hammered’ long life, happiness, inner joy, a sense of being loved and long life. I also would have ‘hammered’ having her sisters as my sisters because they love me like their own brother – a far cry from what my own people give me.
If I had married Uloma, I know I would have had a good burial whenever I died because I’ve always been scared that at my level of loneliness, whenever I die, my corpse would probably have decomposed before my people would find me. I beg to be loved and appreciated. Nobody to call my own.
No one ever cared about me. I have always been alone and hardworking too. From way back, my joys, my sorrows I have always swallowed alone. But Uloma was the only person who truly listened to my heart and understood where I was coming from. So to say any of my failed marriages was for money is simply stupid and unreasonable. The first car Ezinne ever drove and financing for her first attempt at business all came from me.
Lillian was not born with a silver spoon. Her father is only a retired naval officer and the last time I checked he had no wealth ascribed to his name. On her 18th birthday, I bought Lillian an exotic Corolla car. At 300 level in school, I gave her a Mercedes Benz.
Then she graduated with an LS400 Lexus. This is apart from a lush apartment and school bills that God used me to help her take care of. So, who amongst these would I have married for money? Uloma stood out because she’s shared my pain even when it was because of me and that explains why it was a difficult task telling her Lillian was still in my tracks.
I couldn’t have deliberately gone out of my way to hurt Uloma, because that will be simply committing suicide. Hurting Uloma is like waging war against a nation. Is it her legion of admirers I will have to contend with or her nation of die-hard lovers who will be tumbling over each other to get a pound of flesh?
I wouldn’t give hurt for the love and hope Uloma and her family gave me. Unfortunately the same scandals I thought I was preventing by not doing what everyone is saying I would have done is now the same thing staring me in the face, and everyone is worse hurt.
And above all, my own life is now seriously at risk because I feared hurting anyone. I ask all concerned to please sheathe their swords of anger and find it in their hearts to forgive me. I will make restitution as much as the mercy of God permits me. It’s never too late to begin again as far as God keeps us all alive.
I’m a man on a mission for a peaceful marriage, a good home and family life. I guess my desperation took good reasoning off me. Again, I am humbly and truly sorry. I thank my friends who have stood by me through this trial. Your comforting words are like lights on my dark path.
And for the judgmental few, I urge you; work with the truth while the Almighty fixes that which went wrong in my life.
Source
via 247naijagossip
Women Who Eat More Bananas Get More Sons – Scientists
Women can influence the gender of their child with what they eat before they conceive, according to new research that lends scientific support to age-old superstitions about pregnancy.
The discovery shows higher calorie intake prior to conception can significantly increase the chances of having a son while women on restricted diets are more likely to produce daughters.
Scientists at Britain's Oxford and Exeter Universities, who studied eating habits of 740 women during their first-time pregnancies, say that their findings seem to back certain traditional links between diet and gender while disproving others.
"We were able to confirm the old wives' tale that eating bananas and so having a high potassium intake was associated with having a boy, as was a high sodium intake," research leader Fiona Mathews, a specialist in mammalian biology at Exeter University, told the Guardian newspaper.
"But the old take about drinking a lot of milk to have a girl doesn't seem to hold up. In fact, more calcium meant they were again more likely to have a boy."
Mathews said the study pointed to a simple technique to influencing the chances of a male birth: Eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast.
"If you want a boy, eat a healthy diet with a high calorie intake, including breakfast," she told New Scientist magazine.
"Of women eating cereals daily, 59 percent had boys, compared with only 43 percent who bore boys in the group eating less than a bowlful per week."
The researchers said that a higher calorie intake prior to conception can increase the chances of having a son from ten to 11 boys in every 20 births, according to the study published in the Proceeding of the Royal Society B.
They said it could explain why male births in richer countries are experiencing a slight reduction.
Source
via 247naijagossip
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